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Dear Patt
This has happened to me a number of times. The first time I was commissioned to paint someone's children. When I took my painting to show the parents at the first stage of completion the children told me that they didn't like the paintings, that they were too cartoony, that I should paint like a certain person whose painting they had up in the living room, and that they didn't want portraits painted of themselves anyway. The parents didn't stop the children from saying these insensitive and insulting things, but just smiled and sent me away to try again. After a couple of times trying to keep my temper as a professional should, I told them that this was the way I painted, and that if they wanted the painting to look like someone else's they should have hired that artist (at a considerably higher price than I was charging). In the end they did accept the portraits and did pay me, but it was extremely difficult to complete those portraits, feeling animosity towards the clients above having to paint in way that was almost totally not my own.
It just not worth painting in a way that makes you unhappy, bored or frustrated. I think the best thing to do is to show the client what you have done and, as Carol said, don't offer any comment and certainly don't apologise for anything. It's not a photograph, after all, and it is as much about the artist as it is about the sitter, and the client HAS to allow for your interpretations of what you see i.e your personal vision. This is where you are stuck - you are not allowing yourself to see how you see and are getting lost in trying to understand how the client wants things done. I think one of the most important things in having commissions is to ensure you get the respect you deserve from your clients. You are not building them a house, or decorating a room. They are commissioning a valuable, unique artwork, an expression of passion and life. They must know this.
Why don't you post what you have done with the reference photos. I am sure you will get a lot of valuable feedback from the forum and help rebuild your confidence in yourself. I for one would be very interested to see what you've done.
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