[Peter J. Fasi]

You've probably gone as far with this portrait as you can go. Now, start again.

Re-shoot your subject, if he will agree.

Buy a piece of white mat board or foam core. Place your subject next to a large window with diffused light, so that the light comes from the side. Put the mat board on a chair on the opposite side of the camera from where the window is, so that it reflects light coming in from the window back onto the shadow side of the subject. Turn the gentleman toward the window, a few degrees at a time until you find the pose you like. Shoot many samples. Put his right arm down. Just before you shoot every picture, ask him to take a breath. This will extend his chest and give you a better line to the body. Try to get him to smile ever so slightly. That should do it.

Good luck. Post the results when you're done with both portraits. Hopefully, this will be the start of many such commissions.