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Hi, Pat,
I'm supposed to be working so I'm surfing the Forum instead. I haven't been able to follow along for quite a while. Your diligence and perseverance in the months (years?) since you first posted here is showing up in your current work. Congratulations.
On the run (the law of economics chasing me), so two quick looks at "minor but worth working on" areas:
1-- the uplift of the corner of the mouth on our right (in the photograph) is a characterizing quality that I'd try to capture. That is, the corners of the mouth are not generic mirror images one of the other; the final line of shadow on the right rises more in keeping with the flow of the lines of the lower lip.
2)-- harking back to the old advice of looking at shapes within shapes, I think the ear on our left is a bit wide in the upper contour, and I think it will correct itself if you look not at the contour itself but at the size, shape and exact placement of those two shadow shapes within the ear, relative to each other and to other nearby shapes. (Think "shapes," not "ear." The ear will take care of itself.)
Finally, don't be afraid to work some darker values into the appropriate places, with a very dark accent here and there. I think you're trying not to get sucked into the low key of the photo, but remember that you're also trying to depict form in a representation that must stand by itself, and that requires value range (or, at least, value differentiation). Don't peer into the photo to the point of eyestrain, though. You'll just "know" where some value adjustment is needed -- as, for example, a darkening along the left side of the neck, to create a columnar rather than cut-out appearance. (You could also pop the original image into Photoshop and play with the brightness and contrast to exaggerate the values and help you "see" shapes that might be useful.)
There. As soon as I type "quick" or "brief," I'm already lost. But you needed a break anyway, right?
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