[Chris Saper]

Dear Garth,

You don't say whether you are still working on this painting or not, so my suggestions might not be terribly relevant. I have made a bunch of picky comments, mainly because I like to get picky comments on my own work, so I hope not to have overstepped here.

When you place a figure in a complicated setting as you have done, obviously there are many more compositional decisions that have to be made, and many more edges, shapes, values, etc that need to be dealt with.

Overall, I think you have too many shapes consisting of too many values for the picture to have a cohesive design. I feel that perhaps there are some shapes that are over-explained, such as the tiny vase and lamp, the vertical bricks on the fireplace, the border pattern on the carpet, and the vase on our left. What makes them over-explained is a combination of sharp edges and high contrast, and the fact that the values aren't particularly massed. The area supporting the woman's arm seems to me to be under-explained.

I think that there are a number of tangents at play which compete with your focal point - I made a few red notes on the attached image locating some of them. Fortunately, most tangents are usually fairly easy to fix.The green lines are those that might need attention once the painting is framed - depending on where the rabbet sits on the picture - (creating a tangent on our left with the vase) or if it is already in the frame (creating a tangent/arrow shape at the right edge of the lampshade.) You would want to check the strong contrasting shapes at the upper right as well.

Sometimes parallel, similarly shaped areas call more attention to areas than you want (blue lines).

The dynamic focal point between the man's gaze and the finger work and the tuning pegs (what do you call those things?) is extremely strong on its own, and I think should be supported just as strongly by the other visual elements. I particularly like the softer echo of the lace hooks on the boots.