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Mary,
The only chance any of us have is to control as many variable as we possibly can. When your subject is an uncontrollable variable, you have to look to those aspects of the formula that you can control.
Find out from the parent what time of the day the child is most fresh and manageable. For most kids this is morning. Don't schedule your shoot twenty minutes after their usual nap time.
The out of doors is nothing but one big variable. Couple that with an unpredictable kid and your degree of success will be totally unpredictable.
Light is the one factor that you should be able to control, eliminate it as a variable. Luckily, this is one of only a few important components of success. If you can't get a grip on this one controllable aspect then your dead meat no matter how old the subject. If you can't figure out a natural light angle then work toward an artificial set up.
Most kids will tolerate some degree of control. It's a matter of getting your work done before you include them into the mix. Work out the lighting on the mother or sister while the subject is free to be his own boss. When you are ready, put the kid in a chair and shoot as many as you can. Hire Billy Crystal to stand behind you, blow a kazoo, set yourself on fire. You can shoot fifty shots in a matter of minutes. If the light is good and the kid is fresh, you'll get something.
When your finished, tell the people that you will evaluate the results and get back to them. Do not let them see the raw footage. After you evaluate, if you only have three that are worthy, then show them three. If you only have one, show them one, if you have none, then do it again.
Control the variables, manage their energy, don't invite amateurs into your decision making process. Do these things and you've got about a fifty fifty chance.
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Mike McCarty
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