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I believe that you can "manage" the will and desires of the client by allowing them to be in on decisions that have basically already been made. In order to successfully perform this management you must first know your own mind. That is why this exercise that you are going through is vital training. I say place yourself into these circumstances as often as you can. You will be so glad that you did. Your style and tolerances will emerge while not under the gun of a commission.
As far as whether others should be a part of the photo shoot, my preference is that it only be myself and the subject. I do, however, appreciate and use assistants. This assistant works best as an unattached party. It could be a mother, right up to the point that she becomes a liability to the end result.
I think it works best when all parties except the subject start out in the other room. This is less awkward than asking someone to leave half way through. If I find that I really need help I can then call them back.
Did you give up too much control? If you allow the client the opportunity to fall in love with something which is unacceptable then I believe you have erred.
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Mike McCarty
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