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Joan,
This is simply FYI, but Sargent worked alla prima, not with a grisaille and glazes. Lady Agnew is a masterpiece of virtuoso brush strokes. This doesn't mean that it is not possible to do a grisaille of this portrait, but it might be easier to copy a masterpiece that was painted in the style you are emulating.
I see in both this rendering and the painting I critiqued of your daughter Megan, that you are missing the shadow plane on the face. Your drawing is very good, but I see this flattening out of the face in both. It might be easier in the future to find a photograph, painting, or light a model from life where the shadow is very strong and very apparent to force yourself to see the planes of the head.
In fashion photography, the aim (seems to be....) to flatten out the planes and just show eyes, nostrils and mouth. The aim in portraiture is to show a three dimensional shape on a two dimensional surface, i.e., the planes of the head. Lady Agnew is front lighted, a very becoming and flattering lighting system, but there are still a more definite shadow shape on the right side of the nose and on the right side of the face, spilling over onto the neck and shoulder. This shadow shape is a middle value on the Sargent painting, and you've painted it as a light value.
Hope this helps.
Peggy
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