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Number two is far superior compositionally. To me anyway. If I were you I would re-shoot it now keeping #2 in mind, while moving the main light a bit to my right. Not only does the nose shadow protrude too far to the side plane, the nose also casts an unflattering shadow on her cheek which darkens her far eye. Raeburn kept the shadows apart to separate the front plane from the side for a more sculptural effect. Of course then you could also lower the shadow value.
I think the most important thing is to start out with a winning pose and lighting that has the value arrangement which best serves your intentions. If you go in saying I need to change this or adjust that, your consciousness is already compromised. One great lesson I learned from both Paxton and Sargent was that they were fastidious in their setups, even to the point in having costumes custom made for their subjects.
I recently purchased a small canon printer which makes 4 x 6 dye sub prints directly from a pict bridge capable camera (my nikon D70). I can actually print out my photo directly on the spot to show to the client and of course review myself. The printer is very compact. Slightly larger size printers that make 4 x 6 inkjet prints are also available from epson and hp. The point is that you can make instant corrections, re-shooting on the spot. Errors are hard to pick out on a tiny LCD screen.
I have said this before, but in my estimation too many people are working from bad and insufficient reference materials which reduces the chance of one's success geometrically. I also feel people should study the lighting that the masters employed. There is a reason they are masters, after all. Something that works in a photo my not necessarily translate well to a painting.
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