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Tom, you mentioned that when you did get back to the work, it was there and in a powerful way. "All the pent-up looking at art and analyzing it that I had done during that "lost" time came roaring forward almost out of nowhere...So I must have been doing SOMETHING during those years..."
I did not, was not able, to pick up even a simple pencil and paper and sketch for twenty-five years. But every look at a portrait caused a physical pull on my stomach. I just knew I could draw and paint portraits as good as the ones I saw in galleries. Even going to my niece and nephew's art shows in grade school and high school (they are now both majoring in art in college) created an anxiety and a cosmic pull toward drawing again. Maybe that is why the very first piece I attempted was better than any portrait I had drawn 25 years previous. I WAS "doing SOMETHING during those years" as Tom said.
The only mistake we make is to deny the essense, the core of who we are - artists. Even cowering 25 years did not take the artist out of my soul, it only caused suffering. I will never stop doing art, even during these mysterious blocks. I cannot deny that part of me any longer...she is real, and hungry, and oh so eager. I think my greatest anxiety is that I do not have enough time.... to become accomplished...
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