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Dear Joan:
What I see in your reference photo is an extreme contrast between light and dark. You've set yourself up with a difficult task because you can hardly make out what's going on in the shadows, and the light is blinding out the high lights.
What I see in your under painting is flatness. This is further accentuated by sharp edges along the contour of the face. One of the reasons I use this technique is to create convincing shadows and I don't see that happening here.
If it were me, I would bring the whole thing down in value. Then I would work the shadow areas fairly darkly. I would then high the face up again trying not to lose its form.
Your main focus should be creating form, addressing the details later. Hope this has been of some help.
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