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Mary,
This is a charming portrait, but I think you have to work more on your values, For example the highlight under her chin is the same value as the highlight on her forhead. As a matter of fact the whole bottom of her head has to be darkened. Look at her face as a simplified ball with the light striking the upper left. Actually get a ball or egg and light it that way. You will see when you squint the light falling off towards the bottom. On a head in similiar lighting, the features will recede in sequence.
You have picked out each part and focused on it , instead of looking at the whole and then refining the individual parts only at the very end.
This gives a disjointed look to the head instead of one with strong form.
An excellent book, which I constantly refer to and helped me at the beginning was Roberta Carter Clarks' book, "How to Paint Living Portraits". There are several simple egg exercises, which I did and good information from working from life.
I think these exercises would benefit you. I also think you should do some of the life drawing exercises she has suggested. Rope in a friend. I have noticed in this work and in other of your pieces that you seem to focus more on the parts than on the whole. Working from life more, and squinting a lot will help you achieve a greater feeling of form.
Also. I think when we do children, we don't want what we think is a dark and dirty face so we shy away from really giving the shadows the depth they deserve.
I hope this helps.
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