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Dear Jane:
What I like about the photo is the light and shadow pattern on her face which you were careful to set up. Also of interest is the contour of her curls continuing into the ripple-like contour of her top.
What I don't like is the missing hand which in my opinion is a compositional error. You are being lead by this arm and at least want to see part of a hand.
Stripes are real attention getters taking much away from the subject.
It bothers me that the form of her shoulder, neck and face are cut not once but twice by the black strap and part of her hair. It's perhaps more desirable to see a continuous flowing of form in that area.
Her lower back revealed as it is should not be painted.
Perhaps you might consider painting a head and shoulders portrait instead of attempting to adjust and tone things in the reference photo.
Hope this is of some help.
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