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I think that if it doesn't hold and read without the details that it will not be a strong painting. I appreciate your reasoning for the way you've composed your picture but to me it doesn't work.
I think the fact that the dark easel is the same value as his hair pulls back his head rather than advance it. Likewise with the dark pants against the background to our lower right. The sky value, in the painting to his right also being the same value as the illuminated side of his face, pulls him back as well. The chroma of said sky doesn't allow that painting behind him to recede. The shirt remains the focal point, while leading the eye to its own self, IMHO.
I've included a Van Dyke painting from the Frick Collection to illustrate how he handled a similar type of head against a background of similar complexity. I'm sorry I don't have the time to look for something closer. See how the head resounds? This is what I would be looking to do if I were painting Mr. Pasantino, who I believe was quite a stong and confident fellow.
As I mentioned above, Bouguereau is a great resource for innovative value arrangements, unfortunately, though, not really dealing with bearded men very often.
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