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Julianne,
This is a tough reference photo, and it doesn't leave you with many options but to draw what is there.
I can see that you have put alot of work into this drawing, probably as much as I would put into an oil painting. Perhaps several days? The subtle reflected colors on the edges of the face, the careful working and modeling of the detail of the mouth. It is hard to critique a drawing with this much work put into it without discouraging the artist. Realism, however, can kill a portrait sometimes. Sometimes we should just cut loose and let it fly.
I usually take 20 minutes, no more than 30 on any given pastel portrait, good, bad or ugly. I know it is a disgustingly short time, and maybe if I took longer, it would be better. Or not. I am a bit of an impressionist, I am afraid, so take this with a grain (or a pound) of salt.
You should try it. Maybe not to that extent. You obviously have the skills to draw, but your drawing here, though fairly accurate, is a bit stiff. Perhaps if you pushed yourself, you would kick your subconscious mind into action, instead of drawing so consciously. You know, like a piano player who doesn't need to look at the keys anymore. His playing is more musical when he can play subconsciously, rather than looking at each stroke of the keys. Do I make any sense?
Best wishes!
Lon
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