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Terri,
I think what bothers me about the paddle position is it takes your eye to it right away, you want the viewer to go to his face.
The paddle could become a great directional tool for this, I think you could achieve this by re-positioning or changing the value, right now it is the lightest thing in your composition so your eye goes there first.
I would look at this as a figurative piece more than a portrait.
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