Hi Beth -
Wow, quite a lot of changes! Thanks so much for the time and thought that went into that.
I like a lot of what you did. Besides the things you mention, I notice that you also gave Karen in the back a more active pose by repositioning her paddle. I had planned to open Michael's eyes (using a different photo), and the softening of the shadows under his brows like you show will help to bring those out some and make his expression less severe. I like the bare feet concept too.
As far as the paddle goes, -- do you see that as a very critical element to change? I guess I was originally drawn to this pose because it conveyed a sense of movement/action that I associate with Michael when he's out on the water. He liked that about it too. But it does sort of cut the image right in half, doesn't it! I've gone back through the photos I took that day and none have him in a position close to the more relaxed one you've shown... I'm not sure I'll be able to make so much repositioning look realistic!
Do I need to go out on the lake again and start over? maybe on an overcast day? (I must say - it is somewhat scary to be out on the water, in a kayak, with a camera!
)