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An amazing first attempt!
Mary,
You have done a lovely job on this first attempt. Subtle tonalities, as you have in your reference are very difficult to do. I would not fuss with this one any further.
I have a few suggestions, however, for the future. When you photograph children (or anyone) out of doors, you would get better results with an IB filter on your camera. That would reduce the green in your skintones. I also use the Kodak Portra NC which gives me outstanding skintones, yours are a bit washed out. Another usefull trick is to overrouge the cheeks, the extra color helps make your subjects skintones brighter.
I think you can be braver and use more saturated color on your next one. First attempts can be a tad less rich than we want. Daniel Greene suggests in his book "Pastel" (sadly no longer in print) that you always pick the brightest color you think you can get away with. His tape "Erica" is wondeful, it is worth getting as I see you have a knack for the medium.
If you decide to continue with this, get the portrait set of Senneliers to further explore this.
Good Luck!
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