Beth,
The painting looks very nice!
The girl's cheeks look better now. However, I am not sure if I am being picky, but I still think the shadow under her right eye and her right jaw are a bit too dark. The value shift from shadow to light is a bit too much. This is the problem when you paint from a photograph.
However, it is still a very nice painting and gesture (of you to do this painting for them), and I am sure the family will be very happy to have it!
Mai
