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Dear Virginia
Micheal's advice is very good: Look for portraits that treat groups in a fashion similar to how yours is likely to be arranged. Artists have been doing that--looking at how others have handled various situations--since there were artists. After all, why re-invent the wheel?
As far as hands go, that's normally a matter of budget and expectations from the client, isn't it? I agree that it can add artistical interest, but it isn't always do-able.
I realise I'm not adding anything especially new to the comments already given. Just a word of confirmation, I suppose.
Best of luck with the project.
Juan
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