Sharon:
Thanks for your post. It is "uncomfortable", but that is how I know I am on the right track.
When you look at the work of the more established portrait and figure artists like Daniel Greene, William Whitaker, Nelson Shanks, etc., you come away with one thing these people all have in common - to a person, they can all draw and paint from life very well. Further, if you look at their work, you realize that the way they are getting such incredible paintings is that they understand how to "see".
Their work did not get that good from painting from photographs, it got that good from painting from life - most if not all of them under the watchful eye of a master painter who themselves learned that way.
So you say to yourself: "well, how am I going to get there?" (this has become my mantra)
We all paint from photos, but that should not, IMO, be the end. A good portrait artist should be able to paint from photos AND from life and do both with equal aplomb. I for one will not be satisfied until I can.
Your list of exercises and steps are dead on.