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After re-reading my post and comparing to the drawing, I see a couple more things. You have a tendency to take areas that in the photo are rounded, and create them into a point. For instance, at the back of the head, tip of the nose, chin, and V collar, you've created a point in all of those spots, whereas in the photo all of those spots are more rounded.
Also a little bit of a highlight running from the tip of the nose to the nostril will give the nostril some volume.
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