[Chris Saper]

Julianne,

I have been in this situation, twice. Once where the commissioner was an adult, and once, a parent.

Let me preface this by saying, in retrospect, I should have declined both commissions, but did not...now I do.

My advice (?!) is to go ahead and take one more set of photos. If she does anything less than ecstatically shout, "Yes! This is it!", decline the work. Explain that a portrait is always part subject, part painter, and that not every painter and subject are the right match. Offer to help her find a painter that is a better suited to what she feels she wants.

If it comes to this, refund her money. Even if you have a signed contract that a fee is non-refundable, unless you have a year's work lined up, refund it anyway. It doesn't matter what price level you are at, because she is at the same purchasing level as her friends, and it is simply not worth the ill-will.

I now spend a lot of time up front with people to make sure I am the right painter for them; it has happened several times that I send them off with names of other artists to interview. I require people to spend time reviewing my source photos and the resulting paintings to make sure that they are fully comfortable with what to expect from me by way of likeness and style. I actually laugh with people and make them raise their right hands and repeat: "This is painting, not a photograph!"

Clearly, many, many portrait painters would be aghast at this approach, but it works fine for me.

P.S. This is why I have in place a three-part payment system: a fee at the time of photos (absolutely non-refundable) 50% down at time of decision about the content and size (also non-refundable); however, at this point they know what they are getting into. If they decide not to go forward, I have been compensated for my time in taking the photos, and there would be no hard feelings. Then the balance upon happy delivery. I have never had the situation (since the intial two I've mentioned) of having a painting rejected. It's bound to happen someday, but at least I do everything within my ability to spot a problem up front.