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Steven Sweeney · 11-12-2002, 08:04 PM

Welcome, Clive,

The images came through fine, as you will have discovered. Thanks for the "link" to your Intro remarks. I commend to any other members having a look here, the review of Clive's explication in his Introduce Yourself post.

I'll begin with a technical term from my 14-year-old son's lexicon: "Cool". (A few decades ago, I was . . . No, that's not true. I was a farm kid and a geek. Let's just say that my friends and classmates were describing everything as "cool".)

You've handled a lot of challenges here with perspective and foreshortening very well, not an easy thing to pull off. The fruit bowl is rather obviously a bit out of perspective, but in this case I find the compositional "pointing" toward your son to be interesting, so whether the foreshortened ellipse is "on" isn't quite as notable as it might be in, say, a still life.

He looks "tense" to me, shoulders and neck full of energy, "hunched up", and as I look at your reference photo (and think of how laid back -- as a "statement" -- my teen is), I think two things contribute to that look. The far shoulder (on our right) is a bit too short, and the slope of the near shoulder (on our left) isn't quite captured. In the photo it drops quickly in a relaxed, unstressed slope. In the painting there's a choppier and more tentative slope, which is creating a "mood" that I don't see in the photo.

The only other thing I'll note at this point is that I think you'll strengthen the piece overall if you take full advantage of your value range. I'm especially searching in the painting for darks -- in the hair, in shadow areas. Finding and defining them will help in establishing the illusion of form and of depth.

To that point, look at every value not only in relation to its immediately adjoining value shape, but in relation to other values elsewhere in the painting. To take one example, the shadow side of the legs of the chair. Compared to the lighted side, yes, your shadow side is darker. But it's nowhere near dark enough when compared to, say (and I'm looking at the photo now), the shadows that should appear in (our) left side of his shirt, or to the left of his hands, or the shadow cast on the wall by the easel.

So try to think simultaneously in terms of both the area you're working on and the way in which that area relates to the values and hues of the picture as a whole.

Cheers.

11-12-2002, 08:04 PM	#5
Steven Sweeney Juried Member PT 5+ years Joined: Nov 2001 Location: Stillwater, MN Posts: 1,801	Welcome, Clive, The images came through fine, as you will have discovered. Thanks for the "link" to your Intro remarks. I commend to any other members having a look here, the review of Clive's explication in his Introduce Yourself post. I'll begin with a technical term from my 14-year-old son's lexicon: "Cool". (A few decades ago, I was . . . No, that's not true. I was a farm kid and a geek. Let's just say that my friends and classmates were describing everything as "cool".) You've handled a lot of challenges here with perspective and foreshortening very well, not an easy thing to pull off. The fruit bowl is rather obviously a bit out of perspective, but in this case I find the compositional "pointing" toward your son to be interesting, so whether the foreshortened ellipse is "on" isn't quite as notable as it might be in, say, a still life. He looks "tense" to me, shoulders and neck full of energy, "hunched up", and as I look at your reference photo (and think of how laid back -- as a "statement" -- my teen is), I think two things contribute to that look. The far shoulder (on our right) is a bit too short, and the slope of the near shoulder (on our left) isn't quite captured. In the photo it drops quickly in a relaxed, unstressed slope. In the painting there's a choppier and more tentative slope, which is creating a "mood" that I don't see in the photo. The only other thing I'll note at this point is that I think you'll strengthen the piece overall if you take full advantage of your value range. I'm especially searching in the painting for darks -- in the hair, in shadow areas. Finding and defining them will help in establishing the illusion of form and of depth. To that point, look at every value not only in relation to its immediately adjoining value shape, but in relation to other values elsewhere in the painting. To take one example, the shadow side of the legs of the chair. Compared to the lighted side, yes, your shadow side is darker. But it's nowhere near dark enough when compared to, say (and I'm looking at the photo now), the shadows that should appear in (our) left side of his shirt, or to the left of his hands, or the shadow cast on the wall by the easel. So try to think simultaneously in terms of both the area you're working on and the way in which that area relates to the values and hues of the picture as a whole. Cheers. __________________ Steven Sweeney [email protected] "You must be present to win."