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Old 09-16-2009, 10:46 PM   #1
Mara Schasteen Mara Schasteen is offline
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Twelve




I completed this portrait of my son today using willow charcoal and a kneaded eraser. I am not satisfied with how the paper responded so grainy, but the photograph does seem to emphasize that effect.

I posed and studied him closely, but completed the portrait using a photograph I took (blech, I don't like working from photos, but he's 12 and doesn't hold still well).

Thanks in advance for your critiques.
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Old 09-17-2009, 08:55 PM   #2
Julie Deane Julie Deane is offline
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Nicely done, Mara! I like where you've placed his figure on the paper, and the dilineation of his musculature. Beautifully rendered, especially considering the roughness of the paper texture.

I do see some details that I think could be improved, however. Check them out and see if you agree:

Run a ruler along his left eye (our right) and then extend it to the other eye. I don't think the two eyes line up with each other. And the shadow in the one eye area seems a bit dark.

The nostrils appear to have a different tilt than the tilts of the eyes and mouth.

His right upper arm (our left) appears to have an indentation in it that may be overemphasized and may not even be needed.

I can't see the hands too well in this photo, but I'm wondering if the fingers would benefit from more of a hint of the bones and knuckles underneath the skin.

I hope you find these suggestions helpful. I know I'm always asking my artist friends to look at my work and critique it so that I get the gift of an extra set of eyes, so to speak. The work is good. I think it can be even better with a few tweaks.
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Old 09-22-2009, 06:32 PM   #3
Mara Schasteen Mara Schasteen is offline
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Julie, thanks! I am going to re-work the areas you suggested. I totally see the eye, upper arm and hands issues you pointed out, and I thank you for your critique. I also understand your observation about his nostrils, however, the poor kid has nostrils the size of sputnik and they really do look like that. haha! I'll post again once I finish the tweaks.
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Old 10-03-2009, 03:17 PM   #4
Heidi Maiers Heidi Maiers is offline
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Love this so far Mara. He lives and breathes on that little piece of paper. Only thing that jumps out at me is that the arms appear to be of different masses - one on left of paper seems to have more mass.
Looking forward to seeing the revision if you post it. Beautiful son!
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Old 10-03-2009, 07:01 PM   #5
Mara Schasteen Mara Schasteen is offline
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Heidi, I see it, too! I have been looking at the difference in the arm sizes for the last few days. I don't think it will take much to correct. Thanks for pointing it out. I am glad to have someone confirm what I have been questioning. Also, thanks so much for your compliments about this drawing, as well! Will post changes soon!!
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Old 11-22-2009, 11:20 PM   #6
Mara Schasteen Mara Schasteen is offline
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Well, it took a while, but I finally got around to completing this drawing.
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Old 11-23-2009, 07:08 PM   #7
Julie Deane Julie Deane is offline
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Nice work, Mara!
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Old 11-26-2009, 11:04 AM   #8
Mara Schasteen Mara Schasteen is offline
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Thank you, Julie.
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