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Old 07-04-2005, 12:19 PM   #1
Julie Deane Julie Deane is offline
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Promenade




Hi -

Hope this qualifies as a figurative - how about a "multi-figurative"?

This was done in black and white intentionally so no it's not a glitch. I intend to do a similar one in color, but want to work with the composition a bit more.

My thought is to change the person on the right: have her body facing to the right, with her head turning in towards the left, to address the middle person, the primary focus. My thoughts are that this will create more movement, almost a spiral. Thoughts?
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Old 07-04-2005, 02:29 PM   #2
Richard Monro Richard Monro is offline
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Julie,

I love the feeling of movement in this piece and it has wonderful ethereal feel. The figure on the right feels "right" to me as is, but I don't understand the reason for the pulling of the ponytail. I think dropping the hand/arm of the middle person to break the connection with the hair will make a better composition. It will also make the 2nd person from the left a relevant part of the composition instead of being left out of the interplay between the 3 foreground figures as currently shown. Hope the comments help.
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Old 07-04-2005, 02:32 PM   #3
Julie Deane Julie Deane is offline
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Gee, Richard, I don't know. I love the quirkiness of the ponytail being pulled! It's so odd, so "kid-like", so unexpected....the two girls are obviously good friends if this is allowed. To me, it helps make it a fun piece. I hadn't thought that it would be viewed as a problem.

I'd be interested in knowing how others feel about this detail, too.
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Old 07-04-2005, 06:15 PM   #4
Debra Norton Debra Norton is offline
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I don't see the pulling of the ponytail as a problem. Girls do those kinds of things, and they look like they're having fun. Way, way back I have a vague memory of long braids being horsey reins.....
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Old 07-04-2005, 11:08 PM   #5
Lacey Lewis Lacey Lewis is offline
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Hello,

I instantly fell in love with the ponytail pulling! But I see how the composition is a bit linear. I think if the girl having her ponytail pulled were to turn her head around our way to look at the girl doing the pulling it will bring the flow back into the composition and make a sort of triangle with the 3 main girls.

I can't wait to see this in color!

EDIT: Oh, but I would hate to lose that wonderful "YANK" feeling!
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Old 07-05-2005, 03:31 AM   #6
Tricia Migdoll Tricia Migdoll is offline
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I find this really interesting. I too like the ponytail pulling. ( perhaps it is a girl thing).
I find the fourth figure on the right rather dead.
The central figure seems to be relating to the fourth figure, so perhaps if you had her responding to the hair pulling action by having her hand to her mouth stiffling a giggle in response.?
Perhaps even bending over a little. she seems to have no movement about her like the rest of the girls.

Of course, I have no idea how this may effect the composition.
Compostition is a mystery to me.
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Old 07-05-2005, 07:01 AM   #7
Julie Deane Julie Deane is offline
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Thanks, Richard, Lacey, Debra and Tricia -

I used a photo that a middle school friend shot while at recess (of course I changed features where necessary to avoid legal issues) as the basis for this painting, so I don't have the benefit of asking the models to pose again for me. So any changes made will involve finding other kids to pose.

I like the forward moving feel of most of the picture, but need to lead the eye back into the picture more and not off the canvas.

Can anyone find any examples of pictures of this type of forward movement (with the compositional issues resolved)? For instance, International Artist showed a picture by Harvey Dinnerstein called "Parade", that has a lot of forward movement. Unfortunately, they only show a slice of it., so it only tantalizes, doesn't help.
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Old 08-07-2005, 06:41 PM   #8
Brenda Ellis Brenda Ellis is offline
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Hi Julie,
I like this one! I don't know if you've changed anything on it since you posted it, but I hope you kept the ponytail pulling no matter what. It 'makes' the picture.

I was looking at the background....
Perhaps changing those vertical trees to something that can help the eye stay in the picture instead of going off the edge.?.
Just a thought.

I would be interested in seeing if you've made any changes to it.
I can't find where it says what the medium is, either.
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Old 08-07-2005, 09:29 PM   #9
Julie Deane Julie Deane is offline
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Thanks, Brenda -

It was in oils...I've been playing around with the composition since then and have started one based on this picture, but in color, in a style different than I've ever done, less realistic (meaning fine detail), more attention to movement and spatial relationships between the figures. I'll post it when it's done. Yes, the ponytail has stayed!
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Old 09-27-2005, 02:52 PM   #10
Julie Deane Julie Deane is offline
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Same composition, but very different

Hi -

As promised, I'm posting the finished piece, even though it really has nothing to do with portraits.

This was going to be a very light-hearted painting, but then along came....Katrina. This piece evolved as I worked with it on the canvas.

Maybe someday I'll try the composition as originally intended.

I'm calling this one "The Storm".
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